I Learned It from Justin

As of September 23 2013, I became a new mommy. I can honestly say that becoming a mom is definetly one of the top three moments in life that i would never choose to replace.

I've missed blogging. I've always been able to express myself a lot better in with written word then verbally. So... here's an update... I'm gonna be a mommy. I'm getting married, and my faith is being tested tremendously. My words on people concerning my fiance and I getting married: To set the record straight, my fiance and I were planning on getting married before we found out that I was pregnant. Not too many people know that, not too many people I want to believe it. What a lot of people don't know, is that there is a difference between being in the world and being married, and being a Christian and being married. Its not the same. My thoughts on people and my pregnancy: I truly feel that people will judge your Christian walk from the result of 1 night of sin. And honestly say that people have treated me differently and people have acting strangely, but if they consider themselves true Christians hehe people who are trying to be Christ like dan the sh

Most days I'm fine, and I'm happy and content with my life. But some days. I have random flashbacks of the hell and torment I went through as a kid. Constant teasing, riddiculed, it seemed like everyone has to mess with the big black girl. Social acceptance wasn't the answer unless I had money. I wasn't light skinned, I didn't have long hair and I didn't have a flat stomach. Now that I'm older, I'm glad that I did go through some of it because it made me into the humble person that I am. I'm empathetic, I consider other peoples feelings before my own...because I am a strong believer of fact that "Everybody has a story"... You never know what someone's been through until you take a closer look.

Okay so we've all heard the song "Reflection" by Christina Aguliera from the Mulan Soundtrack right? How many of you can really relate to that song? I know I can, just the other day... I woke up went to the bathroom, and I didn't recognize my own face How is that? The person that we thing we are.... Is it the one that we look like? I mean honestly until I was six years old and saw "Rosewood" and "Malcom X", I thought that I was white, with long hair, and blue eyes. I mean, I saw myself but I didn't think it was me, I thought it was just a mask and that I couldn't find my zipper. Then I saw those movies and realized that it wasn't a dream this was really me. Today as an ambitious, and anxiety troubled, nine-teen year old I still don't believe that who I look at in the mirror every day is me. Or basically, it's not who I wanna be. Then I question myself that...if it's not who I wanna be... Then who am I? How do I find myself..

(Photo by: Sade Collier) Okay so we were in class talking about "Holy Moments". In this video we watched in class theirs this big eyed guy talking about moments where you capture GOD and how film makers capture "Holy Moments". I started thinking about "Holy Moments" in reality and how those moments can be crazy at times when you think back on them. Some "Holy Moments" are expected, some are forced, but the ones I cherish the most are the one that come unexpectedly. (Photo by: Sade Collier) Thinking about the subject in class makes me think about my premonitions. Are they future "Holy Moments". Especially since I only have them about major events. We all know that GOD is in control of everything but my question is, can "Holy Moments" happen between someone who is living and another that has passed on? Can death itself be a "Holy Moment"? (Photo by: James Vista http://www.myspace.com/jammyjamthe1nonly) Okay so my poin